


We Are Only Fleeting

by Rinusagitora



Category: Bleach
Genre: Canon Compliant, Doomed Relationship, F/M, Romantic to Familial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 03:59:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8129612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinusagitora/pseuds/Rinusagitora
Summary: He's been a constant in her life.





	

“Would you be more comfortable lying down?”

“No. I’m fine like this.”

“Really, you’d better lie down.”

“I’ll… be alright. My blood’s the same as his. The poison won’t harm me.” She insisted. Though light-headed from blood loss and in so much pain that she saw stars with every ventilation, she would be fine. Her body was quite robust.

He-- the ryoka-- looked… doubtful as he eyed the antidote she’d given him. _Suspicious._  She didn’t blame him. Kindness was still finite, and he’d already done too much for her.

“Do you think it’s a trick?” She wheezed. “Then please, pour some into my mouth first. I’ll show you.”

“That’s okay. Why would you poison me when I’m already poisoned?”

That was very level-headed. How sweet of him, so kind as to realize. Had it been anyone else, anyone who knew how devious her father was, they may not have believed her. Kindness was not a commodity common in the Seireitei.

“You could have killed him by aiming for his head. But you didn’t.” Why didn’t he? She drew her eyebrows together, pensive and pained. She just couldn’t wrap her head around it. It was so strange for her enemy to be so kind when it may mean his life later on after they recuperated. She may have to fight against him again one day, and he may not be so lucky. He knew that, he must’ve known that.

“That was a fluke. I shot to kill.” It was an obvious lie, how his ears turned red and how he couldn’t seem to look her in the eye like he had before. It was so boyish, so unlike the warrior she’d seen just minutes ago. Was it naivete instead of kindness that he left her alive, she thought? Was he simply _incapable_  of murder? Lord, that would really get him killed...

Regardless, he’d still spared Mayuri-sama. That was enough for her. “Thank you… for not killing my lord. Giving you the antidote... was the least I could do.”

She watched as he readjusted his coat. She couldn’t see his face, but he didn’t seem angry. Just tired. “... I don’t get it.” He said finally. “Why would you want to protect a father like that?”

She sighed hoarsely. She was tired too, most likely from the blood loss.  “I don’t know, but… when I realized he’d survived… I was kind of relieved.” She replied. It was exactly that, she bet. Mayuri-sama was her father, her family, all she had. She’d never been without him and she couldn’t be without him. 

“Leave, after you drink it.” She told him. “The other guards will be coming. They would have seen Ashisogi Jizou… I’ll be alright. The guards will tend to me.”

Uryuu set the empty bottle on the ground and thanked her. She watched as he left, watched until he disappeared and the guards appeared from the opposite direction.

She almost wished he’d stayed. With those injuries, he may not make it far. But if he’d stayed just a moment longer the guards may catch up. He may be imprisoned, but the fourth division would heal his injuries and he’d live another day. It would be such a shame for such kindness… naivete… squeamishness… whatever it was that drove him to spare Mayuri-sama, to be extinguished.

* * *

She’d somewhat missed that ryoka boy-- Uryuu. Pined? She couldn’t say if she did, she’d never _pined_  before so she had no comparison. But it was not the time to mope. With the loss of three captains and all-too sinister plan to overthrow the Soul King, action was needed and _soon._  And she was so grateful that he’d regained his powers, so maybe they could fight side-by-side. Maybe she could repay his kindness on the battlefield.

Uryuu had done well in Hueco Mundo, triumphed against many enemies. There was no shame that he was nearly felled by an espada. Definite fear, at least on her part, but she’d never think poorly of him and nor should he. But would he think poorly of her? He’d seen her so monstrous in the past-- _freakish._  What did he think of her after revived by Mayuri-sama?

Still no time to pine. Still no time to worry. She held Uryuu down, smothered him to still him so that Mayuri-sama may operate. Anything necessary done to him, she’d undo herself after the battle. But Mayuri-sama was Uryuu’s best bet to live-- somebody had to repair the internal damage.

* * *

She didn’t consider herself a rebellious child. She was well-behaved, obedient, loyal, honest. To go behind Mayuri-sama’s back was inconceivable.

She’d blame Uryuu-- he was a terrible influence on her if she was so curious that she’d sneak into the human world to see him-- but she supposed she was at fault for her own emotions, and herself alone. If only she could be as apathetic as Mayuri-sama...

Uryuu was emancipated from his father. He lived alone in an apartment near his high school. It was humble, at least its facade, and from the spacing of the doors the suites weren’t’ all that big. Two room, _maybe_  with a kitchenette and _maybe_  with an outlet or two. It was humble, cozy. She liked that.

She waited outside his apartment from the ground floor and watched him through the open curtains. He knew she was outside, likely felt her presence and even acknowledged her with a nod sometime earlier. She just needed to collect her nerves, gather her guts…

She just wanted to see him. That was it. She just wanted to satiate her curiosity; why he had been so kind as to spare herself and Mayuri-sama.

With an inhale to steel her nerves-- so unusual was her anxiety, an acute onset for which she couldn’t find the trigger-- she approached his residence and rapped on the wood door with the back of her hand. It whizzed open, so unusual to the eerie yet easy electric doors in the Department of Research and Development.

“H---...” Uryuu paused as they stared unreadably at each other. “Good evening. Come in-- I’ll put on some tea for us.”

Proper. Polite. So _Uryuu._  “Thank you.” She brushed past him, sat at his table with her legs folded under her, and neatly folded her hands in her lap. “I’m fine without it.”

“Ah…” He replied. “Well… is this a social call or does the Soul Society need us to bail them out again?”

“No.” She replied, unperturbed by his quip. It wasn’t a social call and it definitely wasn’t another call to arms. It was… rather, an inquiry. Not even an interview, not really. Just a single question to satiate her curiosity she’d be on her way, never approach him again if he so wished it even if _she_  didn’t want to. “I just… need something from you?”

Uryuu sat across from her. “A favor?”

“If it were a favor, this would be the other way around.” She said. “I need to know something, rather. It’s not pertinent to the Gotei, I promise.”

He nodded then.

“I just need to know why you spared myself and my father. I still can’t wrap my head around your reasoning.”

He merely stared at her. She prided herself in her ability to read individuals-- like how she knew when Mayuri-sama was about to lash out at her. Uryuu seemed unreadable, his face as statuesque as a mask. His poker face was even better than her own.

“I’m not sure how to answer that.” He replied. “I mean, it’s sort of a weird to be asked.”

She’d frown if she was prone to expression. That was hardly an answer.

“But?” She insisted.

“There’s nothing to it. You two were incapacitated for the time, you couldn’t fight, and that was all I really needed.” Uryuu explained. “I refuse to pointlessly take lives. I’m not one of _you._ ”

She’d be offended by his statement, but her loyalties hardly lied with the Gotei. Mayuri-sama was her only allegiance. It was hard to be a shinigami when one was his progeny. Even then, Mayuri-sama was farthest from saintly out of all the shinigami she knew. She’d done things under his orders that she could never wash her hands of.

Uryuu probably hated her for that.

“That… that came out wrong, and I apologize.” He continued.

She blinked slowly, nonplussed, as she watched Uryuu fiddle with his night clothes. “I don’t understand. What are you apologizing for?”

“I mean the Gotei as an organization. I don’t mean _you._ ”

“I’m exempt from your hatred?” She asked. How silly, she thought. She was a lieutenant, regardless of her loyalties. She’d actively participated in experimentation of his people. How silly.

He was still a child, she reminded herself, despite his ordinary maturity. He still needed to feel out his moral compass.

“That’s… one way to put it.” He replied. She decided to not ask for elaboration.

She decided it was time to leave. She’d gotten her answer, if she stayed any longer her father may notice her absence and that would end badly upon her return.

“I apologize for keeping you.” She rose to her feet and politely made for the door. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

“You too, Kurotsuchi-san.”

* * *

She never asked about the reasons behind Uryuu’s weekly visitations. With Rukia’s crimes pardoned and Aizen incarcerated, she didn’t understand his presence. But she supposed it must be official and must concern his Quincy nature. She didn’t think he would’ve been allowed in again otherwise, not without substitute status or in an emergency. Higher ups must want to keep an eye on him, something like it at least.

Still, he visited her after he’d wrapped up whatever it was him and her superiors did. They were short meetings in a private corner in the twelfth, half an hour at best before some seated officer escorted him back to Karakura and she needed to return to Mayuri-sama’s side.. There was tea, perhaps snacks if there were any leftover from Tsubokura’s binges, and small talk that only lasted three or four comments before there was silence and a futile attempt for a longer discussion sparked by just as lame subject.

Certainly, the first time was tense, but it became more and more comfortable with each visit. She loved those little meetings.

* * *

“I love you.”

She nearly dropped the tray in her hands. Hot water sloshed from the kettle’s nozzle onto the stained wood tray and around the bottoms of the cups she’d fetched. 

Uryuu cussed as he jumped to his feet. He took the tray by its handles, set it on the tea table, and held her by her upper arms as he inspected for injuries with brows knit together. How sweet was his concern, despite the protection her thick uniform offered, despite her resilient body. Still so sweet to her.

“I’m alright.” She assured him quickly. “Explain yourself.”

Uryuu’s escort, just as surprised as she, ducked out of the room and shut the door behind them. Certainly, they would be reprimanded if anyone found out they left a Quincy without supervision. She was grateful for their courtesy.

His gaze lowered to their feet. His cheeks were colored rosy, embarrassed or perhaps shameful.

“It was a slip of tongue.” He explained. “It’s probably in our best interest to simply ignore it. Especially yours.”

She frowned just so faintly. Certainly, Mayuri-sama would be displeased if she had a boyfriend. Her time would be split between her work and play, and he needed an assistance in the lab. She was a lieutenant with obligations to not only her captain and father, but her division and the Department of Research and Development. Her fascination with Uryuu would certainly take from those responsibilities.

She was a shinigami first and foremost, just as he was a Quincy first. Anything between them would quickly disintegrate in lieu of their lives.

If only logic could quell her feelings. If only it could still her heart.

She could only wish she was as stone-hearted as her father.

“Certainly.” She agreed. Uryuu’s hands fell from her arms to his sides. “You should leave.” She continued. “You mentioned your upcoming exams. You should study for those. I know academia is important to you. Go home.”

She could see his lips fall into a frown, even with his head bowed. “Thank you.” He replied. He was gone before she could even begin to clean up their tea.

* * *

Mayuri-sama was arguably the _weakest_  of the captain-tier. Mayuri-sama was not _liked_  by anybody and though she loved him as he was her father and commander, she’d begun to like him less and less. She blamed Uryuu’s influential contempt for his own father.

Still. She loved Mayuri-sama, enough to watch over him as he slept. Her body was imperishable, even by sleep deprivation. She wasn’t sure about starvation, but she didn’t exactly have the healthy diet schedule so she assumed it was the same.

There was a knock at the window then. Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest despite the insulation, and she ran over to the pane to see the source of the noise.

It was Uryuu, perched in the sill like a skinny bird and oddly clad in his Quincy garb.

Whether the dread originated from fear that he’d roused her father, or that he was dressed the same as when he and his friends invaded the Seireitei, the feeling lay like a lead block in her gut. It couldn’t be good if he needed to visit in the dead of night.

She motioned for him to be quiet, and then pointed to the corner to meet her there. She tiptoed out of her father’s room, and then deftly ran down the hall and stairs, stumbled shoeless out of the genkan, and out into the cobbled streets where he wait in the dark.

“You _fool._ ” She scolded him. “Do you comprehend the consequences of visiting here without an escort? And dressed like _that?_  Mayuri-sama would kill you had you roused him, and if anybody else saw you could be criminally charged.”

“I know, I know.” Uryuu said. “I just…” his voice caught briefly, “I needed to see you.”

“You would’ve seen me two days from now.” She frowned. “I thought we agreed not to pursue romance.” Though she had a dreadful feeling that it wasn’t the entire reason he was there.

“I-I know. I know. But there’s something I need to tell you.” Uryuu licked his lips. She wanted to shake him by his shoulders and _scream_  to spit it out already, because the unknown terrified her and he should know not to keep her in suspense by then.

“Go on.” She whispered weakly.

“I trust you’re aware of the Quincy conquering Hueco Mundo.”

She nodded.

“I trust you’re aware that they’ve declared war on the Soul Society.”

She, again, nodded. How cold she suddenly felt…

“I’ll be joining them.”

Tears welled in her eyes. It felt like she’d been sliced through her chest and flushed with paralysis, like she’d been cut again by Mayuri-sama’s sword. She assumed it was the feeling of _betrayal,_  which was odd. Uryuu was a Quincy after all, shinigami had committed genocide against his people. Of course he’d side with his people. Yet still, logic hardly soothed her qualms. Uryuu seemed to do that to her.

How foolish it was to delude herself into thinking they were really friends. That friendship would be enough for him to forget his hatred.

“You shouldn’t have come here.” She whispered. She couldn’t seem to raise her voice any higher than that. She may crumble if she did. “You are now my enemy. I’m supposed to kill you on spot. Is that what you want? You want me to kill the only good thing in my life?” She couldn’t, for the life of her, figure _why_  he would want her to do that.

“No.” He hissed. “No. I’m here to promise you that no matter what happens, I’ll come back to you. But please keep this between you and I-- nobody can know. Not even Kurosaki. The Wandenreich may find out.”

Of course, she thought. How very astute of Uryuu-- infiltration. She should’ve trusted him more… He clearly trusted her, enough to risk his own life to promise his return to _only_  her.

“Go.” She said. “If you die, I’ll never forgive you.” They’d have to discuss the nature of their relationship afterwards.

* * *

She’d learned by then that ethics and the twelfth division simply didn’t mix. Scientists had strange priorities-- normally that right in front of them. 

She cared about her father, despite his antipathy. They shared blood and passion, and she still couldn’t imagine her life without him. She loved him very dearly. Enough to disobey him and fight against Pernida and fight. Enough to give up her life for him.

There was something bittersweet about that. Mayuri wasn’t Uryuu, who was so kind to her, who she loved so dearly. And how heavily it weighed on her that she wouldn’t be able to keep their promise… 

Still. It was the first time her father had held her in years, even if she was just a brain.

* * *

“Nemu!”

She turned her head over her shoulder to find the source of the shout. A bright grin spread her lips as she watched Uryuu approach.

“Uncle!” She shout enthusiastically. She pranced from her father’s side to hug her uncle Uryuu. He laughed, rubbed her back affectionately, and then picked her up with a groan.

“Oh, you’re getting to be big…” He groaned.

Uncle Uryuu was a Quincy from the World of the Living. He came to visit friends every so often, and her too. She wasn’t sure of his relation to her, but she cared for him deeply and he seemed to share her affection. How reverently he spoke her name, and the only one to call her ‘Nemu’.

It was strange in some eyes that a grown man with no relation to her would be so close to her. But his company felt natural, like two well-fit puzzle pieces. That was all she needed. He was family, regardless of blood relation.


End file.
